Why I am going to teacher training.
I've always loved to teach. When I went to college, i was torn between teaching and business and chose business, then when i was about to embark on the CPA track I threw it all away to follow may passion, run professionally and own a running store. Well let's just say that owning a retail store with no money and no experience was a disaster and almost killed me... literally. Got my MBA and became a commercial lender and then I saw an ad for a private school teacher, no teaching degree needed so I jumped at it. Loved it. I taught math and coached the best group of middle school kids. It was exhausting but invigorating. The trouble was I had to go to school to get my teaching degree at night while teaching and still trying to run professionally. Then an opportunity came up to follow my sister up to Cape Cod and be coached by one of the best marathon coaches at the time. Off I went and after a year of injuries i ended up in Banking and with a lot of luck ended up rising to CFO at the best bank on the Cape, so my teaching career never quite happened.
That being said, I've had several opportunities to lead and motivate groups in many different sports, cause i just like doing it. I'm always amazed at how tough people are and how hard they work with a little group energy and someone just to get the group together, lead them and offer a little advice occasionally. There is something within me that enjoys noticing and figuring out how people might be able to improve, through tweaks in technique, strategy, or lifestyle. most of them I keep to myself. Just notice it all the time.
So my history always has led me down a path of someday somehow molding my passion for fitness with my passion to teach.
But Bikram...Well Bikram is so special to me. First of all, I don't like to do things that i'm not naturally good at. So yoga is a big challenge. A humbling but a rewarding experience to do something that I am not good at...stick with it and accept that i'll never be great at it. I'll just be me at it and a better me month by month. See, my philosophy in life has always been to focus on things I'm good at.
It is a different experience to work hard at something you are gifted at. For me it was sports, particularly running. I was always gifted from very little with great speed, an exceptional cardiovascular system, and a certain tenacity for hard work. But working hard at something where you are gifted at it is a little bit different. I worked really really hard but it is a different kind of work when the underlying thing comes easy to you. Sure running 140 miles a week year after year is not easy, but I loved to run. Running was easy, so working at running was easy. I can probably bet most of the people at the Yoga Championships are gifted at yoga so working hard is a little different for them.
I digress... Bikram yoga speaks to me in the language I speak. It is hard. It is the same everyday so you can actually work on getting better. Of course I love things that are the same. It relies on focus, determination, acceptance, and breath. But mostly Bikram Yoga makes me happy inside my head. It is all a metaphor for life for me. It is that, more than the fabulous way it makes my body feel that motivates me to want to teach and share the gift that Bikram has brought to me on to others. What i know about the yoga today, is that the metaphors for me will be different than the person next to me. We all need different things, some need more flexibility others strength ( and I don't mean just physically). Some need to push harder and not give up so easy, others need to try less and not judge themselves so hard. Some of us need to smile more so we get teachers that make us smile and laugh. Or we need to be pushed more or we need teachers to call us on our ego where we give up technique for pride. All these things I notice. And I notice what i think i know today is only a little piece of the knowledge yet to be opened to me. Kind of like how you hear the dialogue day after day and one day, the same words enlighten you to something new you never heard before.
So I'm not that freaked about training, I'm more nervous about teaching because i want to be more than a good teacher I want to be a great teacher and I know that will take years and years. I'm not very patient. Don't we all want to be great right away. I have accepted not being great at the yoga and just letting it take me on a long journey. I need to try and do that with my teaching. Accept that I won't be great right away and just travel my teacher journey on a path wherever it leads
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