June 3, 2012 Week Seven and a Very Strange one

June 3, 2012 Week Seven and what a very strange one it was. Classes cancelled cause of heat issues, hypnotic hallucinations within a migraine during lectures, total collapse on floor outside class (barely making it through last part of class), a lot of lows and self reflection ( don't know why for me lows and self reflection seem to go hand in hand) flowers, friends etc. Well here are some of the details. The week started like any other week, class and more posture clinics although we are close to our final posture. Shannon brought me flowers for my room because I had made a comment of how my decor is pretty much San Quentin and how nice and bright her room was with flowers and a cornucopia of fruit on the desk. The flowers lasted me all week and certainly helped brighten an otherwise partly cloudy if not storm drenched week. Well then the announcement came that class was canceled something wrong with the heat. I go a little bit stir crazy with so much time on my hand and went for a wonderful run and did not think much of it, well while there was not a formal announcement word spread that someone had called the fire department and they had shut us down. That night Bikram told us that someone from our class called the fire department because the doors were taped, and while that seemed like a pretty easy thing to fix, we found out several days later something about the building inspector being called out and that the heating system and temporary permit attained were not valid or somehow needed a whole redo of the system etc. To be honest I never got the whole story which is pretty par for the course here. You pretty much are expected to live in the moment and just do what you are told to do and not obsess about the reasons why. We knew Monday night that we would not have classes on Tuesday so some of the Yogis spread out about town with cabs and cars to hit class at the various local studios. A group of us went to headquarters for the 9:30am class and I got to experience La traffic. No class that evening so again another run. We had several really good lectures this week, more my style as much more science grounded. We had an exercise physiologist from Colorado, the inventor of the laser beam and practicing yogi, and a physician with much involvement in yoga therapy. All were fabulous with a wonderful blend of explaining the evidence as presented by the scientific method as well as their beliefs and things not tested yet but are somewhat an extension of what has been proven. much more my style. No classes again on Wednesday, by this time there were many totally frustrated and crazy yogis especially with no answers. I went to another class at Hermosa Beach. The studio was so nice to welcome all of us, about 30 in each of the 3 morning classes we had available to attend. the instructor we had was my favorite of all the ones that had taught the big group. Gave fabulous corrections, was fun, energetic and still amazingly taught mostly pure dialogue. The room was wicked humid and luckily one of my fellow Yogis, Dionne gave me a water bottle with her potion of homeopathic drops and it tasted so good I actually drank it all and it helped me survive an amazingly hot and very humid class. I need to digress a little here cause I forgot. On Tuesday evening I was struck with a migraine. I could feel it coming on after our class at HQ that morning but it hit full blown by evening lecture. I was in much migraine pain with sound and lights seeming excessively amplified. I had my head in my hands most of the lecture. Well sometime during the lecture I entered this kind of hallucinogenic, hypnotic tripped out state where my arms and hands became endlessly fascinating. They were big and detailed and moved like they were not a part of me and oh so slowly and I was completely mesmerized by them. I knew where I was but was kind of what I imagine being hypnotized to be where I could not pull away from this fixation on my hands. Then some loud noise would happen and I'd snap out of it but kind of wanted to resume it too. I was obviously very dehydrated because that usually triggers migraine. So the next day was when my water angel gave me the bottle. So no classes again on Thursday so went to another class at 7:30 am at Hermosa Beach. We were told a good possibility class would resume on Friday. Then at lecture we were told we would probably have mandatory classes on the weekend. Well plenty of people make plans on the weekends, go to weddings, fly to see family etc. so the yoga community was pretty much in arms. I've got to say I do think it is pretty unfair, but you can't fight everyone's battles and so I leave it for them to fight with my total understanding and faith that something will be worked out to make it fair. Fairness is not actually a word used very much if at all around here. I'm skipping a lot here but trying to shorten this down a little especially with classes on the weekend not much free time to try and reenergize before starting the next week so trying to finish quick to get out to the pool. We finally had class on Friday PM, it was supposed to be at 6:00 but was delayed several times so it did not start until I think 7:30pm. Well I did not eat after they let us out of lecture...I had plenty of candy in lecture my latest drug of choice (more about that later) but did not want to eat anything before class. I was in a pretty bad mood by the time class started and really struggled through. I was pretty on edge dealing with people and should probably have recognized my blood sugar issues, but alas I did not. Was really feeling bad that evening and Saturday morning a lot of self reflection which i may or may not give a glimpse to at the end of this....just depends. Anyway the teacher was terrible, talked down to us and berated us like she thought she was Bikram. Bikram has earned that and knows how to do it, she most certainly did not. Struggled but survived. Spent about 2 hours feeling sorry for myself in my hotel room watching the US open, when I forced myself out to the pool and the. walked down tot the grocery store. It was a beautiful sunny day so I walked down to the store in my tank top and Nike fit shorts to continue to work on my tan. Well 3 total strangers in the line at the cashier and outside at Trader Joes and the local grocery store asked me what I did to look so fit and I must have 0 % body fat etc. etc. Well that certainly made me feel good. I only mention it cause it is part of the story to come. OK so I go to my 5:00 pm class, great teacher but half way through I could not barely pick up my legs or sit up, arms tingling, dry heaves, kind of like I had in the earlier weeks. By the time class was over I tried to drag myself out of class, took two steps and stopped kneeled down, took two more steps. One of my fellow trainees helped me out to the hallway with the fresh air, I made it just inside the room and collapsed. Luckily I had stayed in the room for a little while before. left because I pretty much had people stepping over me. Well the Kira from our staff gave me a coke and I immediately felt better. Dionne my water angel put her magic potion in my bottle and I immediately felt better after having the coke, so the light bulb kind of went off a little. I dragged myself upstairs and col apex on my hotel floor for another 15 minutes then finally began to feel human, ate and drank Much all night. Had a good run in the mooring and then began to do a little research on the web about hypoglycemia. So I kind of figured out that my problem is eating too much candy during the day....I don't eat chocolate I like pure sugar....good and plentys are my drug of choice and like most things there is not a hint of moderation. So instead of eating food, well yes I have an Apple or banana (both high glycemic), then during the week I've been getting my energy with G&P. Well with only one class it was no big deal although I certainly think it affected my moods. But the swings must really have messed with my ability to practice. Got to say I've enjoyed losing weight which is what eating candy does for you if you don't eat much food too. I still eat a big salad at night with tuna or turkey on it for this of you that think I've gone totally off the deep end. And rice cakes too. But funny how candy at least sugar candy does not have a lot of calories so I have lost a little weight, thus the comments cause my body fat is probably pretty low right now. So now I have to figure out how and when to eat. Not that easy when you are running then taking a morning class then in lecture right up until you take the evening class. most of the snack food I eat is high glycemic like fruit so well I'm sure I'll figure it out and if I don't only 2 more weeks. I went to Whole Food today and bought all the magic ingredients to my water and so at least drinking water will be more pleasurable and maybe I'll drink more of it. Ok last final thoughts on self reflection. Well you know I'm a rather intense person a lot of times and that both draws people but then kind of like a light that is too bright well it also makes people pull away. I also know that some things that seem very difficult to most come easier to me than to others but sometimes it is not so apparent the most mundane things that are a part of life that are really difficult for me. Such is life. I know myself pretty well and most days I accept these realities well, always a balance, always looking to be the best I can be and bring a little brightness to those around me. Sometimes I'm way too hard on myself and without Dan here there is no one to kind of get me out of my head. Today life is good, things seem back in balance and well onwards. Class this afternoon at 5:00pm, better go get some fun and EAT SOMETHING. PS Can't wait to hear how people enjoyed BOSS.